What to include in an obituary, and what to leave out
Include the name, age, town, date of death, the story of their life, the family and the service. Leave out the full birth date, the mother's maiden name and the home address, which identity thieves look for.
Facts checked at the sources on October 23, 2026.
What to include
- Full name, nickname and the name people used.
- Age, town and state, date of death. The place of death (home, hospital, hospice) is optional.
- Birth year and hometown.
- Work, military service, faith and community life.
- What they loved and what they were like: two or three specific details.
- Survived by and preceded in death by.
- Service details: visitation, funeral or celebration, burial.
- Where to send donations, if the family wants gifts instead of flowers.
- Thanks to caregivers, hospice or hospital staff, if the family wishes.
What to leave out, and why
Criminals read obituaries to steal the identities of people who have died, a scam called "ghosting". New York's Department of State advises families to avoid listing the birth date, maiden name or other personal identifiers. AARP adds the place of birth, the middle name, the mother's maiden name and the home address.
| Detail | Safer choice | Why |
|---|---|---|
| Full birth date | Birth year only | Date of birth is used to open accounts |
| Mother's maiden name | Leave it out or describe the family ("one of six Nowak children") | A common security question |
| Home address | Town only | Tells strangers where the house is |
| Service time with the home's location | Have someone stay at the house during the service | Burglars watch for an empty house |
| Relatives' phone numbers and emails | Leave out | Invites scam calls to grieving family |
| Names of young grandchildren | Count them ("seven grandchildren") or use first names | Children's details are easy to misuse |
ObituaryUS shows the birth year only unless the family turns on the full date, and never asks for a home address.
Other things families often leave out
- The cause of death, unless the family wants to name it.
- Estranged relatives, if including them would hurt someone. There is no rule that every relative must be listed.
- Legal matters, money and the will. An obituary is not the place.
- Anything the person asked you not to share.
After you publish
AARP also suggests telling the credit bureaus and the Social Security Administration about the death soon, so new accounts can't be opened in the person's name. New York notes that family members are generally not responsible for fraudulent charges on accounts that are not in their name.
A checklist before you publish
- Name spelled the way they spelled it, with the nickname in quotes.
- Age and dates checked by a second person.
- Every child, stepchild and grandchild accounted for.
- Service times, places and addresses checked with the funeral home or venue.
- No full birth date, maiden name label, home address or phone numbers.
- Read aloud once.
The traditional template asks for each item in turn, so nothing is left out by accident.
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Questions families ask
Is it safe to put the funeral time in an obituary?
Yes, people need it. Just ask a neighbor or relative to stay at the house during the service, since burglars know when a family will be out.
Should an obituary include the maiden name?
It helps old friends recognize her, but it is also a security question. Many families leave the label off or mention her parents' family instead.
Do I have to list every relative?
No. List the people the person was close to. You can use numbers for large generations and leave out anyone the family chooses to.
Should I include the cause of death?
Only if the family wants to. Many obituaries don't mention it at all.
Sources
- After Death "Ghosting" Scam (New York Department of State)
- Grieving Loved Ones Targeted in Obituary Scams (AARP)