How to write an obituary for your mother
Write the facts in the order readers expect, then spend most of your words on what she was like at home: the phrases, the cooking, the way she showed up. Two sample obituaries and a fill-in template are below.
Facts checked at the sources on October 23, 2026.
Questions to ask yourself and your siblings
Sit down with a brother, sister or her oldest friend and answer these out loud. Write down the answers word for word; her own phrases are the best lines you'll find.
- What did she always say when you left the house?
- What did her kitchen smell like on Sunday?
- What did she do that embarrassed you then and makes you laugh now?
- What did she do for other people that nobody thanked her for?
- What was she proud of that wasn't about her children?
- What would she want the obituary to leave out?
Sample: a traditional obituary for a mother
Dorothy Ann "Dot" Kowalski, 86, of Toledo, Ohio, died peacefully on October 6, 2026, at home with her children beside her. She was born in 1940 and grew up in the Polish Village neighborhood, the youngest of six.
Dot worked for 31 years as a bookkeeper at Toledo Edison and could add a column of numbers faster than the adding machine. She married Stan Kowalski in 1961 and raised four children in a house that always had a pot of something on the stove. Her pierogi were famous on Lagrange Street, and she never wrote the recipe down, because, she said, "you'll know when the dough is right."
She played bingo every Tuesday at St. Hedwig, sent a birthday card to every grandchild until the week she died, and believed that most problems looked smaller after a nap.
Dot is survived by her children, Mary (Joe) Fisher, Paul (Denise) Kowalski, Theresa Kowalski and Mike (Kim) Kowalski; 11 grandchildren; and six great-grandchildren. She was preceded in death by Stan, her husband of 52 years, and by her five brothers and sisters.
A Mass of Christian Burial will be celebrated Saturday at 10 a.m. at St. Hedwig Catholic Church, followed by burial at Calvary Cemetery. In lieu of flowers, gifts may be made to Hospice of Northwest Ohio.
Sample: a shorter, warmer version
Our mom, Linda Reyes Park, 68, of Fresno, died October 18, 2026, after a short illness. She was a labor and delivery nurse for 40 years, which means half of Fresno was handed to their parents by her. She hummed when she was nervous, danced when she was happy and could not keep a secret about a present for more than a day. She leaves her husband, Daniel; her children, Grace and Sam; and her grandson, Eli, who called her Lolo. A celebration of her life will be held at the Fresno Botanical Garden on November 1 at 1 p.m.
Writing as "we" or "our mom" is fine, especially online. Keep the facts (name, age, town, date) in the first sentence either way.
Things that often go wrong
- Making her only a mother. Her work, friendships and opinions belong here too.
- Leaning on phrases like "devoted mother", "his legacy lives on", "touched the lives of", "never met a stranger", "infectious smile", "a life well lived" and "all who knew him". Use one true sentence instead.
- Leaving out a grandchild or a stepchild. Check the family list with someone else before you publish.
- Printing her maiden name as a label. It is a common security question; "born Dorothy Nowak" is something to think about first. See what to leave out.
When the relationship was complicated
Not every mother was easy to love. You don't owe anyone a portrait you don't believe. A shorter obituary with the facts, the family and one honest good thing ("She loved her garden and her dogs") is enough. Nobody reading it is grading you.
When you're ready, start with the traditional template or pick another on the templates page.
Write it with us, free
Answer a few questions and ObituaryUS sets your words in a clean, printed-page layout you can share, print and keep. No fees, no ads on the page.
Questions families ask
How do I list her name if she married more than once?
Use the name she used last, and mention earlier married names in the story if they help people recognize her ("known to many from her years as Linda Reyes").
Should I include her maiden name?
It helps old friends recognize her, but it is also a common security question. Many families mention her family of origin ("the youngest of six Nowak children") rather than labeling it as a maiden name.
Who should be listed as survivors?
Her spouse or partner, children (with their spouses), grandchildren by name or number, and her living brothers and sisters. Step-children and "bonus" grandchildren belong in the list if she counted them as hers.
Can the obituary be written by all the children together?
Yes. Pick one person to hold the pen and ask each sibling for one story or detail. It keeps the voice consistent and gives everyone a part.